Starts With Goodbye
by racefh853629
Summary: Don is left in the aftermath of the shootout. One-shot, revolving around "Pay Up." Character death.


A/N: I don't own CSI:NY, CBS, or any other known entity. This was just a short little one-shot that popped into my head while watching the finale. I hope you guys like it! Please review. :)

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Starts With Goodbye

"She's gone."

Two simple words, but they were the two hardest words that Don Flack had ever uttered in his entire life. And as he watched Danny punch the wall in frustration, he felt his last resolve crumble.

Knowing that someone's gone was one thing. Actually saying those words was a different brand of finality, one that Don hadn't quite been ready for. He broke into hysterical tears, losing himself in the moment. He curled into a ball in his chair, putting his hands over his face as he outright sobbed.

Danny moved to Don's side, wrapping his arms around his distraught friend. He put his own grief aside for that of his friend. Danny couldn't imagine what he'd do if he ever lost Lindsay in the line of duty like Don lost Jess. And as he heard his friend's bereaved sobs, his mind was lost in thoughts and memories.

After what felt like forever, Don had finally composed himself enough to pull away from Danny. "I, uh… I need to go," he said softly.

"Sure," Danny replied. "Call me if you need something, okay?"

"I will," Don promised, standing up and walking away. Danny frowned as he watched Don's figure disappear down the hallway. He picked up his cell phone, dialing a familiar number.

"Hey, Mac?"

*~*~*~*

Don had stood beside her body for what felt like a lifetime, trying to think of how he was going to make it without her. After Sid walked in to do the autopsy, Don left, receiving a pat on his back from Sid as he passed.

He moved out to his car, planning to go straight back to work, but his thoughts got derailed by a phone call.

"Please tell me you're really you and not someone else answering your phone," Sam said frantically.

"It's me, sis," Don said sadly.

"Oh, thank God," she breathed. "I heard a cop was dead, and knew that it could be either you or… Oh, God, was it…?"

She couldn't finish that thought, but she didn't need to, as Don knew who she meant. And Sam didn't need him to say anything. His silence was enough of an answer for her.

"Oh, God," Sam said softly. "Donnie… I'm so sorry, Donnie."

"It's okay," Don replied, his voice shaking from the tears threatening to fall.

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can do? Anything?"

"I'm okay," Don repeated. "I have to go… I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, Donnie," she said. "Be safe, okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye." He clicked the phone shut, resting his head against the steering wheel as a wash of tears claimed him again. Every time he thought he had himself back together, he thought of her and he fell apart again.

He would get through this.

He pulled himself back up, turning the key in the ignition and driving to where Mac and Danny had found the Hummer.

The getaway vehicle.

Two pairs of eyes watched him, scrutinizing his movements as he made his way over to them. "I, uh, I need to be here," Don said, suddenly unsure of himself.

"Sure, Don," Mac said softly, completely understanding.

It was in that moment that he realized that he would have to sit down and talk to Mac at some point after all of this. Mac would be able to help. Mac had been there with Claire. Mac, of all people, would understand.

He mostly stood back and let Danny and Mac do their job, wanting to be there mostly so that he wasn't alone. Being alone meant she wasn't there. Meant he was thinking of her, missing her already, crying. He would be okay. He knew that. But he wasn't sure he could take the getting there.

Danny opted to catch a ride back to the lab with Don, and Mac simply gave him a nod of recognition. After tucking the evidence away in Mac's Avalanche, Danny climbed into Don's car.

"Let's grab a slice," Danny said.

"I'm not hungry," Don replied softly.

"You need to eat something."

Don shook his head.

"Don, listen to me. I know I have no idea what you're going through. I don't know what to say or how to help you, and I'm not even gonna pretend that I do. But what I do know is that we're going to catch the bastard that did this. We. As in you, me, Mac, and everyone else at the lab. But in order to do that, we need to be at the top of our game. Which means, you need to eat."

Don sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. "Fine," he said.

"Great," Danny replied.

The car fell silent as the duo drove to a pizza place, both ordering a slice and a soda. They sat in the booth, neither one sure of what to say until Danny finally spoke up.

"What can I do to help you here, buddy?" he asked.

Don shrugged. "I don't know," he replied. "The one thing I want, even you can't do."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

Their food came up, and Danny stood, grabbing their plates and sodas. Don stayed in his seat, staring at the table. Danny placed the pizza in front of him, and Don picked at it for a few minutes before looking up.

"I'm not falling apart," Don said finally.

"I know," Danny replied, taking a bite from his own slice.

"I miss her, but I'm not… I am, aren't I?"

"You are what?"

"Losing it."

"Not really," Danny said. "You loved her. We all could see it. Honestly, if it were Lindsay… I don't even know how I'd function."

"You'd find a way," Don said softly. "You always do."

"I know it's hard, and I know that I also couldn't possibly understand what you're going through. But you can always talk to me, you know? I'm here for you, just like you've always been there for me."

"I appreciate that, Dan."

Danny patted Don's shoulder gently. "We're all here for you," he said.

"I know," Don replied.

The two finished their meal in silence, bussed their dishes, and left, heading back for the lab. As they got out of the car, Don turned quietly to Danny.

"Thanks," he said softly.

"You're welcome," Danny replied, patting Don's shoulder again as they entered.

*~*~*~*

Don took a moment after talking with Jess' father to sit and think. He knew the tears were fading, tears more of shock than actual pain and sorrow. He knew he'd have to deal with those things as they came. But there was one thing he knew was most important right now.

Find the bastard that did this.

From there, Don was going to get his revenge. And while he wasn't normally a man driven to violence, he had to do this. He had to make that bastard pay for what he did to her. What he did to her family and friends. What he took away.

Don didn't care about himself. It was about Jess' father, her four brothers, and the myriad of people she had helped throughout her lifetime of service. It was about her friends from school, the ones he heard so many stories about and had even met a couple of times. It was about her friends at the precinct, who got the reminder today that what they do is dangerous and sometimes, even the best of them didn't come home.

It was about Jess. About avenging a life taken way too soon. And as Don reached into his pocket to toy with the ring he refused to let go of, he felt that settle in even more. It was about Jess.

*~*~*~*

"You okay?" Danny asked as they met up in the hallway. Don gave him a glance, looked back down the half-flight of stairs, then looked back at Danny.

"I'm fine," came the somewhat icy reply from the brokenhearted detective. And as Don walked away, Danny sighed. He didn't have to walk down that flight of stairs to know what he'd find.

A dead body. A .50 caliber gun. And the slugs in the dead man would match Don's gun.

Danny knew that part of that was Don's closure. Don couldn't bring Jess back, but he could avenge her death. And the finality and calmness in Don's voice had proven that he had done just that.

Danny holstered his weapon, radioing in that the last perp was present and accounted for. He didn't mention that the guy was dead. Don's statement would be taken when they got back, as well as everyone else's. Then afterward, it was out to the bar, to toast their fallen comrade, as they had the misfortune of doing so many times before.

*~*~*~*

Stella caught up with Don while he was leaning against his desk after he had finished giving his statement. "I'm sorry," she said to him. He looked over.

"Thanks," he said softly.

"You got him, though."

"Yeah."

"Doesn't help, does it?"

Don shook his head, looking away.

"I wish I could tell you it gets easier or better, but I think we both know that's a lie. So, I think the best thing for you to do is come out with us, remember her with us."

"I don't really want to, Stell."

"Don…"

He shook his head. "Going with you guys means she's really gone, and I almost want to stay in this denial for a bit."

Stella said nothing, resting her hand on his shoulder.

"But I know she's really gone," Don continued, glancing over to Stella. "I know that. I know I have to say goodbye, but…"

"I know," she said softly.

He sighed, squaring his shoulders a bit. "We shouldn't keep them waiting, huh?" he asked, looking over.

"No, we shouldn't," she replied. She rubbed his shoulder gently.

"Is everyone going?"

She nodded. "Even Sid and Adam."

Don nodded. "She sure touched a lot of people, huh?"

"Yeah, she did," Stella agreed.

Don pushed himself off of his desk, and Stella followed suit. "I'm gonna miss her," he said softly.

"Me too," she replied, her tone matching his. He turned, enveloping her in a hug.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"Anytime," she replied, breaking out of the hug and leading him toward the front doors. They got into a car, heading to the agreed upon bar location. Tonight they would take the time to remember their fallen colleague, a woman they all loved. Tonight was for her memory. Tonight was for happy stories and, hopefully, more cheery thoughts about her than the way things ended for her.

Tomorrow would be another day.

The End.


End file.
